


The Cautionary Tale of Durin's Heir

by AndreaLyn



Category: The Hobbit (2012), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Durincest, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-11
Updated: 2013-02-11
Packaged: 2017-11-28 22:12:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/679433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndreaLyn/pseuds/AndreaLyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Fili was only four years old, he was cursed by the elves of the Greenwood to lose his sight until the day he learned to love with all his heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Cautionary Tale of Durin's Heir

Once upon a time, an exiled family was lost in the woods outside of the Greenwood searching for shelter and food. The mother, pregnant, did her best to comfort her young child that they would find a new home soon, but he wandered away from his parents to search the wood. It was here that he was found by the elves, feet trampling the precious flowers of their people.

“Child,” called the voices. 

The boy searched in vain to find them, spinning on his heels. “I did not mean to offend!”

“And yet you trample over what we love, not knowing anything of care,” they whispered back to him. The boy felt fear down to his very bones, but could do nothing but wring his hands together. His parents always spoke of the lore of the woods and the magic that surrounded them, but he had never believed.

He had never thought true magic could exist, not until this day.

“We curse you,” they whispered, again and again. “We curse you, may you be blind to the wonders of the world until you learn to love with your whole heart. We curse you.”

Dizzy, the boy fell to the forest floor, staring above him as the world began to go black. 

The last thing he saw was the sun through the trees of the Greenwood.

*

The story of the boy in the Greenwood was a popular one for dwarves. It was yet another reason to despise the elves, but most accepted that it was myth; legend. None wanted to believe that one of their own could be struck down by strange magic in the dense woodlands near them. 

Unfortunately for Fili, he knew better.

He lost his sight when he was only four years old. Honestly, he couldn’t remember many sights from before that moment. Once in a while, he would dream of something strange and wonderful, but it vanished by the time he woke. What he did remember was the last words that had been spoken to him before his sight had been robbed from him. Though he had been young, they stayed with him through the years.

“What happens if I never find someone I love completely and utterly?” Fili asked one dinner when he was no more than eight, after his father pushed a fork into his hand and guided him to where the food was on his plate. “I’m no good to the line of Durin,” he said, dismayed. 

He heard the sounds of dinner around him and the steady babble of his younger brother setting the score to their meal. He’d never seen Kili in all his life. All that Fili knew of the baby was that he sounded pleasant and happy, but when he was upset, his cry was piercing enough to shatter glass.

“You’ll meet someone,” his mother assured him. 

If nothing else in the world was constant, his mother’s assurances would remain. No matter how Fili phrased the question, the answer stayed the same: _One day, it will happen._ Empty promises were hard to hold onto when all that his young heart wanted was to see the world for its beauty. Miners spoke of veins of gold, but Fili could not see them sparkle or see how they cast light on all who regarded them. They talked of the joy and pride of forging a weapon by their own hand, but Fili would never possess such skills without his sight. He couldn’t even read properly. Neither a warrior nor a scholar, Fili was of little use to his family. 

He had never even seen himself in a mirror. People said that he was as golden as his Uncle Frerin had been, but he had no evidence. He had only the dark and the blackness was a lonely friend.

Weeping that night, Fili curled up in the corner of his bedroom and exhausted himself with his tears until his mother found him and soothed him to sleep with a lullaby. 

“And what happens if he doesn’t find someone?” Fili heard his father speak (though he knew he was not supposed to hear such words). “What do you think Thorin will say, then?”

“We’ll cope with Thorin when he comes back,” Dis said sharply. “He’s your son before he’s the heir of Durin. Besides, Kili will be there with him,” she continued softly, fondness filling her words. Without even knowing what his brother looked like, Fili began to think of him as a friend in the darkness – a hand to hold. “Kili will be at his side. They will never be alone. Until the day Fili falls in love, Kili will be there with him.”

_Kili will be there_ , Fili began to tell himself. Kili was a faceless and soundless being, but he was quickly becoming a legend in Fili’s own mind. _Kili will be there_ , he told himself when he was scared or lonely. As the years went by and Kili grew, Fili stuck close to his side and greedily took in first words, first steps, and cultivated a bond with his younger brother that none else could infiltrate.

And though Fili had never seen Kili’s face, it didn’t matter.

Fili had his imagination to guide him as he thought of his younger brother, his guardian in the dark. “You’ll always be there,” Fili sleepily murmured as he twined his fingers with Kili’s in the bed that they shared. Fili, at fifteen, and Kili, at ten, had been inseparable since Kili could walk and no gossip or rumours could sway them from such a bond.

“Where?” Kili asked, the question surrounded by a yawn.

Possessively, Fili tightened his embrace and held Kili flush against his torso. “Right here with me. You’ll always be here with me, won’t you? Mama promised.”

Kili burrowed deeper into Fili’s embrace, casting a sloppy kiss to Fili’s cheek -- which made him laugh the way that only Kili could. “I want to stay here,” he said, breath wafting against Fili’s neck in a ticklish manner. “I love you. You’re my gold, my treasure from the mines.”

Sleepy as he was, Fili never bothered to ask whether that meant that his hair was golden or whether Kili was being silly. The topic didn’t come up again for years, not until Fili was thirty-five and Kili was thirty.

“But what do I look like?” Fili impatiently demanded. “If I’m going to find someone whom I love, shouldn’t I know what I have to offer?”

They had been arguing for ages about this. Each time, Kili would stubbornly demand that Fili listen to his descriptions, but Kili had little talent for truly describing Fili’s features in words. “Fili,” Kili whined.

“You have to give me more than ‘you have a nose’. Of course I have a nose! Is it a nice nose?”

Silence. “It’s…I…well, I don’t know about any maidens, but I like it.”

“And my hair?”

“Gold,” Kili replied softly, something like reverence in the words. “I put braids in while you slept and clasped on gold beads, but you were far too brilliant. I took them out and replaced them with silver. Your hair is gold, as bright as your soul.”

Kili’s words caused something in Fili’s stomach to twist with an ache, tinged with joy. It meant little to him what the men in town thought or the visiting dwarves. If Kili thought he was golden, then Fili could have no quarrel with his maker.

“Am I a comely dwarf?”

“Fili,” Kili complained. “I don’t know!”

“If you were a dwarf maiden, would you…would you love me?”

“I already love you, Fili, you know that.”

“But you’re hardly in love with me,” Fili said, his impatience beginning to overwhelm him. “What good is this! I can’t go out without a chaperone and I’m forever known as the cursed heir of Durin. No one will have me. No one will even speak to me! How am I supposed to find love if I’m no better than a trapped bird in a cage!”

Kili did not respond to Fili’s outburst and were it not for the soft breathing next to him, Fili would have thought him gone.

“I know that you are blind, brother,” Kili finally spoke, “but sometimes you are extraordinarily stupid, as well. It is not your lack of sight that people will see. It will be your good looks and your kind heart. Your giving hands and your quick wit. The whole of Ered Luin wishes to bed you, half to be yours forever. The world is yours, Fili,” Kili murmured. His breathing was close now and when Fili reached out instinctively, Kili was near enough to be clasped.

Fili drew him near, holding on tight to the lifeline that Kili provided.

“You just have to be ready,” Kili said, voice cracking with an aching desperation that Fili did not understand until much later in his life.

*

The dark stayed his constant companion through the years, but it was matched in devotion by Kili, who never strayed from Fili’s side. He was honest and he was kind and he gave Fili everything that could be asked for. Fili always sought answers more than anything else, as he did this night.

“Kili,” Fili murmured, staring into the pitch black as he had done every day for the last fifty-five years of his life. For the last few weeks, Kili had returned to sleeping in his own bed and Fili mourned the loss of Kili’s warmth and presence at his side, but knew that they had grown too old to share such things, any longer.

“Hm?”

“Do you think that I’ll find someone? Some dwarf maiden who will love me? Whom I will love with all my heart, enough to break this curse? I grow older and older and while you insist there are many who love me, I don’t know that I like any of them. Do you think my one is out there amidst them?”

There was no response. Fili wasn’t sure whether the door being shut quietly or his heart skipping a beat would sit with him longer, but whatever he’d done (or said), something had upset Kili and Fili didn’t know what it was.

*

The trouble with being blind was that what should be obvious often passed for too great a time unnoticed. The benefit of Fili’s lack of vision was how he had turned to listening. Dis had accompanied him to the marketplace and left Fili to sit by the fountains and _listen_. He listened to the bustle of trade between men, the gossip from the wives, and the talk of the dwarves.

It was in the middle of this trip that he overheard something he had been blind to (pardon his pun) for far too long.

“The boy’s getting ridiculous. He’s lucky his brother can’t see the faces he’s making,” said a man’s voice. Fili could place it as Dwalin by the roughness of his tone and the frequency of Dwalin’s visits to their home. “At his age, being in love is expected,” Dwalin grumbled. “But does he have to be so hopeless about it? He acts as though he’ll never find happiness.”

“Ah, brother,” Balin trilled in reply. “Be kind to the lad. He’s young, yet. It’s his first time being in love, he doesn’t know how he’s supposed to act. Why, I remember a young dwarf whose name I shall not mention who shaved off every hair atop his head to get a young lass to look at him for the fierce warrior that he was. You wore such forlorn faces for a dozen fortnights, but could I do anything to stop it?”

“It’s hardly the same,” Dwalin complained sharply. “How was I to know it wouldn’t grow back?”

“Pay no mind to Kili’s lovestruck looks,” Balin chided. Their voices grew more distant and though Fili strained to hear them, it was a losing battle. “…it will all work out in the end and I’m sure he’ll find himself very happy.”

The identity of Kili’s love went unnamed, but Fili’s imagination was quick to supply any number of candidates.

*

Fili spent a painful night in the throes of deep, pained thoughts mingling together as he thought about what might happen if Kili had truly found someone that he loved with all his heart. What if Kili stopped looking in Fili’s direction? What happened when Fili tripped and no one was there to catch him? What would he do without Kili whispering into Fili’s ear and making him _happy_ beyond belief? It struck Fili, then, with clarity and resolve. 

He was in love with Kili.

No. It was more than that. Fili knew without a doubt that if he were to go another day without acknowledging what he truly felt for his younger brother, then he would be lying to the whole of Middle Earth. It wasn’t that he wanted to protect Kili from the world and isolate them from everything. Instead, he wanted to be at his side through everything. He wanted to slide his hand into Kili’s and hold tight through whatever trials might face them.

And it didn’t matter if Fili ever got his sight back. 

Kili was beautiful enough to surpass blindness. His laugh, clear as a bell and twice as beautiful, could ring in Fili’s ears until the day they died and it would be enough. His dulcet tones when happy and his threatening growls when mad could warm Fili’s bed without knowing the shape and shadows of Kili’s limbs.

He loved Kili the way the elves eternally loved the gifts given to them by their maker.

He _loved_ Kili.

So when he woke the next morning to see something other than the pitch black of night, Fili shouldn’t have been surprised, but he _was_. He let out a sharp yelp of surprise and fell off the bed in a disastrous heap. 

Lucky, then, that Kili was not around to see.

Unlucky, however, because Fili wanted nothing more than to see the face of his beloved for the first time in his life. The light shone callously in his eyes and while it was no more than candlelight, it burned like the brightest fire. Fili blinked against it, adjusting to his new sight as best as he could. For the first time in decades, he saw the room around him and the treasures his mother has filled it with – the soft quilt he had taken to bed for the last twenty years and the treasured carvings his father placed on the nightstand.

Fili could navigate this room with care and ease, but he had never seen it. Not until today.

Kili was spending the week’s end with Thorin to learn skills at the forge and was not due back for days. It hurt Fili’s heart to know that he could not unburden his soul, but he refused to take a single moment of his sight for granted. Distantly, he heard his parent’s setting the table for breakfast and his heart leapt at the thought of seeing his mother’s face. Fili grew overwhelmed with emotion as he realized that he would see, for the first time, which of them he took after – whether he had his mother’s eyes or his father’s hair or some other combination in between.

Fili choked back his cry of joy and tripped on his way out of the bedroom, causing a ruckus when he had the sight to see the obstacles.

“Fili!” Dis called up worriedly. “Fili, did you hurt yourself?”

He couldn’t calm himself quickly enough. His voice was still thick with emotion when he mustered his reply. “I hit my shin, Mama, I’m fine,” he promised, endless relief accompanying his words. He ignored the sharp pain in his leg and hurried at a pace he couldn’t recall ever matching in his youth. The reserve in his movement was shed like a snake’s skin – Fili need not be cautious now that he had the ability to see the path ahead.

He made it barely minutes in the doorway of the kitchen before his parents noticed that something was amiss.

Dis cupped Fili’s cheeks, pressing kisses to his forehead. “My darling child, what’s the matter? Why do you weep?”

“You look tired, mother,” Fili replied.

Dis’ hand stilled completely, her mouth parted as a sound of joy escaped her. “Fili,” she murmured, burying her fingers in Fili’s hair. “Fili,” she whispered. “My dear, darling prince. You can see?”

Fili nodded eagerly. 

“Who is it? Who have you given your heart to?”

Fili didn’t want to get into this conversation yet. “My vision has returned, Mama. I don’t want to talk about where my heart is. Please, let me look on you and father. Let me look at myself! I haven’t even bothered to see whether Kili has been telling me lies all these years. I cannot be half as beautiful as he insists.”

His mother’s look turned critical. “I’ll fetch you a looking glass,” she said. 

While she was gone, Fili took the time to look over his father’s face. His father had been stunned to silence and still could not summon the words to speak. Fili wasted little time in joining his father at the table, reaching out to touch his father’s golden braids with fondness. “I get my looks from you,” he realized. “I look like you. Does Kili look like you, too? Is he golden? Father, please, say something to me.”

“My son,” his father murmured. “Fili, we have been waiting for this day.”

Fili brightened beyond measure, his heart shedding half the weight he had been carrying around with him. His mother returned with the looking glass, holding it out to Fili. Suddenly, nerves accosted him. What if he was horrible to look at? What if he had found his heart’s love, but Kili did not want him back? 

Breaking the curse was never guaranteed to give him happiness, after all. 

“Look, Fili,” his father coaxed. “Look at yourself. You’ve earned that much.”

He took his time looking at his reflection and running a hand over his features. “My nose is larger than I had thought,” he murmured, proud and pleased at this discovery. “And I have your hair, father,” he said delightedly. “Kili did my braids so well,” he murmured, touching the ones hanging from his moustache, his smile softening at the mention of his brother. 

His parents exchanged a long look. 

“What?” Fili asked. 

“Is it him? Did you finally realize what you’ve been so very obvious about?” Dis asked.

“You knew before I did?” Fili wondered, disgruntled at the thought that he was the last to know. “Wait. Does that mean Kili knows…?”

“No,” his father replied. “You didn’t even know. How would Kili? He follows after you,” he reminded him. “I’m sure if this follows any other day in your lives, he will discover it soon after you did.”

“Take your time, Fili,” Dis said. “This is a matter of the heart and the heart requires devotion and attention. Kili will return in several days time. By then, perhaps you will see inside your heart as well as you do the world, now.”

Everything was beyond bright and filled with possibility. “May I go to the market now?” he asked. “Please?”

“Go,” his father agreed with a laugh. “Be back by dusk and don’t purchase too many shiny trinkets.”

Fili accepted coins from his mother with a pleased grin. “I’ll be safe,” he promised, and did not return to the house until the moon was high in the sky and his pockets were filled with new treasures in the form of weapons and clasps and clothes, all chosen without the help of anyone else.

He fell asleep with the safety and the knowledge that when he woke, the world would be waiting for him all over again.

*

Kili’s return should have brought sheer joy to Fili’s heart, but instead, he was burdened with nerves and an inability to move when days had passed and Kili arrived home. Fili listened to Kili making a blunder of his arrival, dropping his things at the door and earning their mother’s wrath for it. “Clean up, Kili!”

“Later, Mama!” Kili swore. “Fili!” he shouted. “Fili, where are you! I’ve made us something! Don’t worry, I’ll weave it into your hair and make you look like the shining angel that you are.” 

Fili inhaled deeply and gripped his bedsheets, heart hammering as he ran through the dozen possibilities of how he was going to tell Kili that he was in love with him. He didn’t have time to think about the remainder of the possibilities because Kili burst into the bedroom and Fili reacted by sound alone. 

“Look! Or, don’t look,” Kili quickly corrected, his mind running too quickly for his mouth as it typically did. 

Fili was breathless at the sight of the one he loved. Kili was more beautiful than Fili had ever dreamed with his dark hair like their mother and eyes filled with warmth and kindness. He looked at Fili like he was the only thing in the world and it hurt Fili’s heart to think of Kili loving anyone else. Fili wanted to speak and tell Kili everything, but he took notice of what Kili had brought him, first. 

In Kili’s hand, he possessed two shining silver clasps. 

He sat down beside Fili and took hold of his hand, folding the clasp into his palm and closing it firmly. “I’ve carved your sigil into the metal, Fili,” he whispered, bowing his forehead to Fili’s temple so that Fili could _feel_ his grin. “Feel it. Run your thumb over it and feel your sign,” Kili murmured.

Fili rubbed his thumb over the marks, his exhalation broken as it escaped his lips. “They are beautiful, brother.”

“They could look like anything and you’d say that,” Kili said joyfully. “The joy, Fili, of you being blind is that I can offer you nothing but shoddy workmanship and you would never know the difference. I’d never make you something ugly, though. Not ever,” he swore as he took back one of the clasps. “Turn around, I’ll braid it into your hair.”

Fili turned, licking his lips as he tasted the truth on his tongue and measured out the _how_ of Kili finding out that the curse had been broken as Kili worked his fingers over Fili’s scalp, raising goosebumps on his arms and sending shivers down his spine. 

“Kili,” Fili began.

“What is it?”

“I’d know.”

“Know what?” Kili teased, knotting the last braid. “It’s perfect. I’ll get Mama to braid mine in later.”

“I’ll do it,” Fili said. “And I’d know if it were ugly.”

“Don’t be silly, Fili, I can get mother to do it. The last time you tried to braid my hair, you did it crooked,” Kili said, but Fili was stubborn and didn’t give Kili a chance to leave. He grabbed the clasp from out of Kili’s hand. He felt around for Kili’s shoulders out of habit, turning him enough to settle behind Kili. With his sight returned to him, he took the time to run his fingers through Kili’s hair and marvel at how the light cast warm hues in the dark tones.

It didn’t take long to settle the clasp straight and centre in Kili’s hair.

He refused to relinquish Kili’s shoulders and instead leaned forward to press a kiss to Kili’s shoulder. “I’ll think you’ll find it’s perfect.”

Kili laughed brightly, but soon he was inspecting the braid and discovered that it was, in fact, perfect. His laughter ran quiet and he swiveled, staring at Fili with wonder and…and _worry_. 

“Who is it?” Kili demanded. “Who is it, who do you love, who’s taking you away from me?”

Fili readied himself to respond, but it was Kili’s last question that put him off balance. It was a question that he had not been expecting. “Can I not look at you for the first time?” Fili begged, laughing weakly as he reached out to brush his thumb over the soft fuzz of Kili’s beard. “I never realized how short your beard was.”

“I have to keep it that way. For the archery,” Kili reminded him. “Fili. Answer me. Who do you love?” he sounded desperate and aching, now. It was as if the pain in Fili’s heart had somehow infected Kili. 

Fili tangled his fingers in Kili’s hair and held him close. “You. I love _you_ , does that mean that you feel for me, as well?”

“You love me as a brother,” Kili asked warily. 

“I really don’t think that my curse would be lifted if I realized my love for you as my brother,” Fili said dubiously. “If so, I would have begun to see when I was no more than six,” he chided Kili lightly, still drunk with the sight of him. “You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“I’m one of the few things you’ve ever seen in your life,” Kili joked.

“You’re not very romantic, are you?”

“I’ve never needed to be,” Kili replied jovially. “Fili, you’re awfully close to me.”

“Can’t I be? I love you, Kili, with all of my heart. That was what the elves wanted. I trespassed on their home and interfered. They cursed me until I understood, but I do now,” Fili swore. “I would destroy anyone who laid a hand on you, never mind cursing them.” He tightened his hold on Kili’s hair and used it to leverage himself closer, pressing his lips to Kili’s and gently coaxing his lips open wide.

Kili let out a needy moan. “Fili,” he gasped. “I need you.”

“Tell me something first,” Fili murmured, barely parting from Kili so that with each word he spoke, he pressed tiny kisses upon Kili’s lower lip, sucking it between his teeth and nipping. “I overheard Balin and Dwalin at the market. They said you looked lovelorn,” he drew out the words, tongue exploring Kili’s mouth as he drew out moan after moan. “Was it for me?”

“I’ve been in love with you since I was barely older than ten,” Kili replied, chest heaving as he tried his best to climb into Fili’s lap. “Wait,” he eased back, straddling Fili’s waist, hands pressed to his shoulders. “Balin and Dwalin know?”

“And Mama and Papa,” Fili said, letting Kili ease him down to the bed. 

“Does everyone know?” Kili whined, pinning Fili to the bed when he struggled to sit up again. “Stay. I’ve finally got you where I want you.”

Fili stretched out lazily, twining his fingers with the sheets of his bed. Kili looked absolutely delectable, but everything was moving so fast. He had only been able to see for days and he had been a starving man. Now, he felt as though he was going to overdose on the sight of Kili. He reached out to grasp Kili’s wrist.

“Wait,” Fili pleaded. “Not so fast. Please, Kili. We have a lifetime to spend together. For one night, I want to do nothing more than study your face and memorize every feature. And I want to kiss every inch of your lips and your cheeks and neck and look on the sight of our bodies together,” he growls, sliding both palms up Kili’s chest. 

Kili let out a whine. 

“Impatient little brat,” Fili scoffed. 

“You love me.”

“I do,” Fili breathed out fondly, wrapping a hand around Kili’s neck to haul him close and keep him beside him. “You make me feel like no one else has.”

“I broke your curse,” Kili said with overwhelming pride in his tone. “You can see again because of me.”

“Am I ever going to hear the end of that?” Fili asked, resting Kili’s hands on his hips and pulling him flush against him. “I want to hear you speak and I want to watch how your lips move while you form each and every word. You’re so beautiful when you talk,” he praised. “You’re always so beautiful.”

“Stop it,” Kili protested, cheeks flushed. 

“I speak only the truth.”

“Fili,” Kili murmured.

“What?” Fili asked, eyes half-lidded. He didn’t want to go to sleep and miss a single moment of watching Kili, yet exhaustion began to creep up on him and tempt him towards sleep. “What is it?”

“I love you more than life itself,” Kili said, leaning up to kiss Fili’s brows, the fuzz of his beard bristling against Fili’s forehead. “And I would have loved you if you couldn’t see a single day in your life. I’m only glad you finally saw what was under your nose for so many years.”

“Then I’m grateful I’m no longer blind,” Fili sleepily replied. “And only now feel pity for those who must watch two lovelorn dwarves rather than simply one.”

“You’re sleepy, Fili. Rest.”

“Be here when I wake?” Fili requested.

“I’m not going anywhere, not for my whole life,” Kili said. “And that is my promise to you.”

As far as promises go, it was the best one that Fili had ever heard.

*

Fili snuck away in the middle of the night when he was sure that Kili was well and truly asleep. The Greenwood was a half day’s journey from where they were currently residing, but he made the trip in record time in his haste. He dismounted his pony and carefully wandered the woods he had not seen since he was only four years old, taking great care not to disturb the vegetation or touch anything that might be beloved. 

“Hello?”

He searched through the dark trees for a presence, but found nothing. 

“I’ve found him,” he said. “And I will give him my whole heart on pain of death,” Fili swore. “I love him as you love the very nature of things around you. I love him. I love him and I will protect him. And…I am sorry for my childish trespasses,” he said. “I am sorry for the crime I committed and I thank you for your leniency in forgiving me this slight.”

Still, there was nothing but a whisper of wind through the trees. 

Fili took it as a sign that his apology had been accepted.

When he returned home, he held Kili tighter than ever before. He pressed his lips to Kili’s lips and fell asleep twined with his brother, his one, his love. “I love you, Kili,” he whispered fondly. “Always. Always and completely.” 

With all of his heart.


End file.
